Michael, Michael, Motorcycle

As most of you will come to find out, (not like anyone reads this anyways),  Random nonsense pops into my head at any given time.  Take last night for instance, the old playground rhyme, Michael, Michael, Motorcycle came to mind.  It goes a little something like this, "Michael, Michael, Motorcycle, turn the key, and watch him pee!  Turn it back, and watch him crap!" (I know, I know, the last verse doesn't even rhyme.)  This gem was said to anyone named Michael back in the 2nd grade, for no other reason, than the fact that his name was Michael.

This got me to thinking about other playground rhymes, keep in mind, these were used by myself, 20 years ago.  My thoughts could be a bit cloudy.  Another doozy, was when there was a "couple", one would blurt out; "John and Cindy sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby's carriage!"  Oh man, the schoolyard would laugh hysterically if this was dropped on anyone.  This was one of the ultimate chants.

Another catchy phrase, "I see London, I see France, I see someone's underpants!" A classic, however, no where near as serious as the first two.

20 years later, thats all I can remember as the most popular ones here on the East Coast.  After having read this blog, I'm sure most of you would like  2 minutes of your life back.  Oh well, I'm sure some of you got a chuckle out of it!

House Train a Dog

Does it seem hopeless that your new dog will never learn to use the great outdoors for its bathroom?  First, let me start off by saying, "NEVER PAPER!"  Paper training usually involves newspaper set on the ground IN a designated part of the HOUSE.  While the dog quickly associates the newspaper as his/her bathroom, your dog figures that its okay to go in the house.  Which is the opposite of what the owner ultimately wants!  If a dog is trained in this way, its harder to break their habit if you later try training them to use the outdoors as their bathroom.  I like to use a combination of crate training, and the bell technique.

Crate training is pretty straight forward.  At night when its time for bed, put your dog in the crate.  Make sure the crate isn't too big or too small.  Your dog should be able to turn around comfortably.  You can also throw a safe toy in there for good measure.  Dogs will not soil themselves in their crates.  Its a natural instinct of theirs not to dirty their sleeping place.  A crate isn't cruel either, dogs are den animals, so the crate makes them feel right at home.  Just make sure they don't stay in their crates for unusual amounts of time.

When your dog isn't in the crate when you're at home, the bell technique is perfect.  The bell technique consists of hanging a christmas-like bell from the door (knob) you always let your dog out, at nose height.  The first few weeks you have your dog, you MUST keep your eyes on him/her like a hawk.  It's imperative to catch your dog in the act of going to the bathroom indoors.  A stern, "NO" will do, quickly walk the dog to the designated door and manually hit the bell with his/her nose and say, "outside." You MUST be routine with this step.  After a few weeks your dog will start running over to the door and hitting the bell with their nose on there own!  It's also VERY important to praise your dog when they're doing their business outside with a "good boy, or good girl," in a high pitched voice.  All dogs love/respond to high pitched voices!  With these techniques your dog will be using the outdoor soil as their personal bathroom in no time.

Panini Grill or George Foreman Grill

What do you know, another meaningless comparison. And again, another close call, which seems to be a theme of mine. I've owned both grills and I currently own a Panini Grill, which may make this a bit biased. In terms of the foreman grill, the consumer is basically paying a bit more money for the Foreman name. The grill I had was quite basic, no temperature control or on/off button, just plug in and grill. I will say that it grilled nicely for an indoor grill.

Cuisinart GR-1 Griddler Panini and Sandwich Press

The panini grill I have is the same basic looking grill, except there's an on/off knob as well as temperature control. The biggest plus is the price is probably 20% lower than a foreman grill (of that size) and does the same basic thing; it grills indoors.

I like to do whats called "spatchcocking" on the panini grill. Spatchcocking is when you take a whole chicken or cornish game hen and cut the back-bone out. This in turn allows you to open the bird like a book and flatten it out on the grill. This works great with game hens that are about 1.5 lbs. on the panini grill. Since the Grill, grills with both sides it cooks a spatchcocked game hen in 10 mins. flat. Delicious. The foreman grill and panini grill do the same thing. If you want to spend the couple extra bucks for a brand name foreman grill, go for it. If not, stick with a basic panini grill.

Billy Mays Vs Vince Offer?

Which infomercial salesperson is more popular?  There isn't a day that goes by that I get sucked into some infomercial I've seen 1000 times before.  With that said, Billy Mays easily has the most infomercials out there.  His most notorious infomercial is probably OxiClean, this product zaps the toughest stains out there!  Other Billy Mays infomercials you may be familiar with,  Samurai Shark, Lint-B-Gone, Gator Grip, and Buddy Putty, to name just a few.

However there's a new salesperson thats taking the TV broadcasts by storm.  I see Vince Offer, spokesperson for Sham-Wow, 5 - 6 times a day, and watch the infomercial in its entirety every time.  The "smooth talker's" delivery is unprecedented, which allows him to hook his viewers effortlessly.  I can see him taking over many other infomercials in the near future 

to put him on par with the god of informercials, Billy Mays.  At this time however, Billy Mays cannot be touched.  He's recognized in households across america, and maybe even the world.

Are Pitbulls dangerous?

According to various media outlets, they're killing machines!  I'm actually the proud owner of an American Staffordshire Terrier, which is lumped in with the Pitbull bread.  They're no more dangerous than your neighbors Chocolate Lab, or Golden Retriever.  Its all about how they're raised, just like any human.  Pitbulls are perceived as human killers by ignorant people who have never had the chance to be around a responsibly raised Pitbull.  It's irresponsible owners who give the breed a bad name.  They use the Pitbull bread for fighting and drug house guard dog purposes, due to their tenacity and pure strength.

   

 One ridiculous Pitbull myth is that they have locking jaws, in that they actually have a locking mechanism in their mouths.  Come on, do people really believe this?  Apparently, people also believe that they become aggressive due to the fact their brains never stop growing.  This in turn, makes them out of control when it fills their skull!  In closing Pitbulls can be excellent family pets, if raised responsibly.